


Panic

by FlameFox345



Series: Fictober 2019 [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Civil War Team Iron Man, Fictober 2019, Gen, Hurt Tony, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tony Feels, Tony Needs a Hug, not team Cap friendly, not wanda maximoff friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-14 00:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlameFox345/pseuds/FlameFox345
Summary: Fic written for the twenty-third prompt of Fictober 2019!October 23rd - “You can’t give more than yourself.”It’s been months since Tony has had a true panic attack. The Rogues return might just change that.





	Panic

It had been a long while, almost a few months, since Tony had experienced the tell-tale nausea in his stomach, the static numbing his fingertips, and the fuzziness in his head that guaranteed an incoming panic attack. The last time he had the pleasure of being consumed by the grips of fear was the moment after Rogers and Barnes left him to die in the frozen remains of a destroyed HYDRA base. Truthfully, men stronger than Tony would have likely succumbed to even a smudge of anxiety as well if they had assumed they were dying and had no one coming for them.

But he doesn’t like to think of Siberia much anymore.

Tony was even proud of how far he’d come afterwards. Pepper regularly quoted ‘the best revenge is living well’ to him whenever she could, and Pepper was nothing if not persuasive. What had once been days and nights spent wallowing in his workshop, desperately clinging to the memories of people that no longer cared for him transformed into late night rambles with Peter, heartfelt conversations with Bruce, movie marathons with Rhodey and more. Nightmares seemed distant when he surrounded himself with those that truly loved him, and those frequent bouts of panic faded into dazed memories of a time he sought to forget.

Of course, life would never be black and white, so Tony wasn’t exactly surprised when he received the news of the Rogues pardons. He knew something like this would happen, what with some of the public still eating out of Rogers’ hand and the government’s insistence on balanced team dynamics. But where he was still haunted by the faces of those he had mistakingly put trust into, he had dozens more to back him up with sweet smiles and fierce loyalty.

That didn’t necessarily mean that Tony was at ease, however.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want too, Tony,” Rhodey began, hands on Tony’s shoulders and a strong determination light in his eyes. Beside him, Pepper was nodding her agreement. “Few could just as easily have someone else go and welcome them back. You don.’this owe them anything.”

Tony sighed, dropping his gaze and shuffling his feet. “I know, but I feel like it’s the least that I could do, y’know, before I avoid them until I’m dead.”

A dark look passed Rhodey’s face before he schooled his expression, and the little rush of fondness Tony felt at such a blatant protectiveness from the other man was bordering between refreshing and terrifying. “You won’t be dying any time soon on our watch, Tones,” Rhodey replied, glancing at Pepper to make his point known and throwing a look towards Happy as well.

Tony tried his best at a smile, but he knew the others in the room could easily pick out the cracks in the gesture. “I can do this, and if anything happens, I trust you guys to have my back.”

Happy, Rhodey, and Pepper exchanged a few glances, a silent conversation that Tony could easily pick up on but refused to acknowledge before Rhodey sighed dramatically. “Fine, but please, if you feel uncomfortable in the slightest, just...don’t force yourself to stay and bear it. You don’t have to be alone to do this. You can’t give more than yourself.”

Tony smiled again, the fake press grin melting away to form something real, sliding a hand up to rest against the hand Rhodey still had on his shoulder. “I promise I’ll call you if I need you.”

With that, Tony left the three to themselves, making his way to the elevator and to the helipad to greet those he wished where long gone.

“Nice of you to join us, Stark,” were the first words Tony heard as he stepped into the roof, hands linked behind his back, eyes hidden under expensive sunglasses, and smile tense. Clint said them with a sneer, an expression so different from the fond grins he had shot Tony all of those years ago.

“I’m afraid I had previous engagements that had to be taken care of before I could join the welcome party, Mr. Barton,” he replied easily, but he knew edge stomach tightened as he took his place in front of the group. “While I’m here to welcome you back to the United States, you must know that Stark Industries no longer funds or outfits the Avengers Initiative. More of this will be discussed in the meeting following this welcome. I’ll be distributing all of the information to you before you meet with Captain Dancers and Colonel Rhodes to discuss the future of the Avengers Initiative. I ask that any and all questions pertaining your Avengers status and/or the equipment associated be held until this very meeting seeing as I have officially retired as an Avengers consultant regarding my health after recent events.”

He paused for only a moment, but it was plenty of time for the Rogues to speak up. “Isn’t that a little too far, Tony?” Rogers asked, stepping forward ever so slightly.

Tony immediately tensed, flinching away from Rogers’ advance before taking control of himself. “Mr. Rogers, I ask that from now on you refer to me only as Mr. or Dr. Stark, we are not friends. As for your question, my decision to retire and remove SI funding has nothing to with your escapades but rather my personal opinions of weapon outfitting and my own health.”

Wanda scoffed, “typical Stark, not sticking around to clean up his own messes.” Her words were hissed, a biting tone that had Tony clenching his fists begins his back.

“I’m truly sorry to disappoint,” he continued, choosing to avoid the way Wanda’s magic started flowing around her hands, “but I would like for you to respect my decisions as a former consultant and friend.”

“Step off of your high horse, Stark. Just admit that you think you’re better than us and maybe we’ll level the playing field,” Wanda snarled.

Tony took a deep breathe before delivering the killing blow, “I don’t have to think that I’m better than you, Miss Maximoff, I know I am.”

Almost immediately, Wanda growled, stepping forward with red mist swirling around her hands. Tony barely had time to widen his eyes before his vision went red.

Suddenly, he was no longer on the helipad of Stark Tower, instead, he was gasping for breath as his head was yanked from a freezing tub of water. Voices in a different language rang from all directions, nails were biting in his skin, and his chest was burning. He took another breath before his head was shoved under the water again. Stay up, keep the car battery away from the water. He had to stay awake or he would die. He couldn’t give up. Yinsen was counting on him and the car battery couldn’t get wet, and he couldn’t breath.

He couldn’t breathe.

He needed help.

Someone help!

Air, air, air—he couldn’t—

“Tony!”

Who?

“Tony? Can you hear me?”

He couldn’t breathe.”

“What the fuck are you doing to him?”

The car battery can’t get wet.

“Pepper, call security!”

Pepper? Pepper was here? Why couldn’t he see her ?

Red, so much red.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Let go of him!”

Almost as quickly as it had begun, Tony was released from his own personal hell. He fell to the ground with a soft thump, hands hitting the groin harshly, gravel biting into his skin. The red swam away from his vision and all of the air came rushing back to him. Suddenly, warm arms circled around him, pulling him into someone’s grip and pressing his head up against their chest.

Their heartbeat was fast and loud, but it was something and Tony whimpered, letting himself focus on the rhythmic beating. “Shh, Tony, I’ve got you, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have let you come out here alone. I’m sorry, you’re safe.”

Tony’s breathing gradually slowed, exhaustion taking panics place in his mind as he finally slumped again the person’s—Rhodey’s, he could now tell—chest. There we’re still sounds echoing all around him, someone was shouting and the shuffling of feet rang loud, but Rhodey’s heartbeat was a welcomed distraction.

Tony didn’t want to think about it much after that.


End file.
